I hear it a lot and while I know that most of the time its well intentioned, talking about someones weight in any context is just not really your business. This is my families go to thing to comment on. I cant think of a time when a compliment came out and there wasn’t some aspect of “Skinni-ness” involved in it.
The thing is, a person is more than their weight. There are other aspects that are far more important to be honest that can be complimented. It can make a person think well was I getting fat before? Or maybe even they have been trying to put on muscle! Not to mention that it reenforces the entire dieting and weight loose culture and subconciously (or not) links losing weight with value.
Not to mention that its just intrusive! In an era of body acceptence, why is this still such a huge thing?
Also, think about the fact that you don’t know whats going on with someone. When I was at my skinniest, I was sick. I was emotionally drained. I wasn’t eating and I ran miles and miles every day because I was depressed and it was the only way that I could get out of my own head. I was, in short, going through the worst times in my life and people were COMPLIMENTING me on it.
Below are things to think about that have nothing to do with losing weight. Chances are they are going to mean way more to the person then a simple “You look like you lost weight!”
- You light up the room.
- You have the best laugh.
- You’re always there as a great friend.
- You look so happy!
- What a smile.
- You’re skin is glowing!
- You’ve gotten so strong.
- Way to kill those work outs lately!
- Your happiness is contagious.
- When I’m around you, I always know we’re going to have fun.
- I love being around you.
- Your conversations are always on point.
- You’re so good at _________.
- You make me smile.
- I admire your confidence.
- You make people feel good about themselves.
- I love your imagination.
- I admire your _________
- You made my day.
- You’re so brave.
- People always feel awesome after talking to you.
- You’re so empowering!
- You’re important.
- I dont know how I would have done this without you.
- You bring out the best in the people around you.
See how these can be so much better than someone just losing weight? Even if they have been trying to loose weight, chances are its not JUST about loosing weight. It’s about being healthier, being more confident, finding a new hobby and all of the things that they can do with that.
Make the people around you feel bigger, not smaller.