Steps to Remain Positive When Things Get Hard

Positivity isn’t just a state of mind.  It’s a constant practice that can often take a lot of work.  We are taught to assume the worst for the most part.  The negative seems to have a stranglehold on most of our thoughts and the way that we are expected to see the world.  I am, by nature, a pessimist. It’s just how I was taught to operate.  But as I got older I began to see the way that it was negatively influencing my actions, relationships, and views of the world. 

It took some time and, like yoga and medition, is a constant practice. 

Understand that some days are going to be harder than others.  

No one is happy all the time.  Even the most positive, upbeat people have a hard time sometimes when it comes to remaining positive.  You are not going to be perfect.  But you can take steps not to let those moods or those downers affect your or those around you.  And a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year, doesn’t have to turn into a bad life.  

Let things go

Hate, anger, and disappointment are like bile.  They burn through everything that you are trying to build.  And you can’t avoid them.  They are part of the natural human experience.  They are going to pop up.  It could be work.  It could be a boy not texting back…it could be your parents not bothering to text back.  It can be something more serious.  Losing your job, failing at a project for work, not being able to see your kids as much as you like.  Its part of life and just IS.  Learning how to let things go is hard but in order to let things go, you first have to feel them.  Really feel them and accept them.  It sucks.  But it is.  Only when you feel them can you take a deep breath and move forward.  And you can’t move forward with those feelings holding you down.  Make them productive and a motivator or let them go.  

Find the things that make you happy/ shift your focus 

Shifting out of a bad mindset is hard for everyone.  It’s so easy to let it take control and just stay in bed watching snarky Netflix shows that will just affirm all of those negative thoughts you’re feeling.  And I LOVE my snarky ass tv shows.  But in a depressive state these can seal the deal.  I’m having one of those days as I write this.  I did not stay in bed watching Its Always Sunny today.  Get out.  Go to the gym.  Hit a coffee shop.  Walk around an take pictures.  It doesn’t have to cost money.  It just has to get you through the next hour.  

Understand that other people are experiencing the world in a different way than you are

Sometimes we jump to conclusions.  It’s natural.  We think that it’s about us because that, for the most part, is our main focus.  But it might not have anything to do with you.  Try and understand that and not take on other peoples baggage and make it your own.  It’s not always about you.   You can be conscious and aware of others emotions without making them your own.  

A Note to Emotional Empaths 

We all feed off the energy of other people.  Its the reason why nightclubs and bars work so well.  Get one person going and everyone else will feed off that.  There are some of us that do this all the time.  If people around me are down, I start feeling that.  I did this for years with my ex-husband. I took on his negativity and depression because I believed that if he wasn’t happy, I wasn’t allowed to be. Toxic. Be aware of how people around you are feeling and make sure that your moods are truly yours.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be around these people.  In fact, we all need a little bit of sunshine in our world.  But you do need to keep an eye on your own mood too.   

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There is a time in our lives when we figure out that we are adults. When that time is...we sometimes don't know. Even at 32. I'm just a young woman trying to restart and learn how to live as an adult after years of just making ends meet. Coming out of a divorce was something horrid for Erika, but opening up to my authentic self and finding joy in the things I love has been a huge step forward. Becoming an adult isn't about the age you are at, but being comfortable in what you do, what you love and who you are.

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