Get Rid of That Shit

I have been debating or the past month on what to do with a few things form my marriage.  I know it seems silly but it’s been hard to let go and some part of me keeps thinking that something will happen and I will be able to…I don’t know fix things?  But even if my Husband came back I know that all of the counseling in the world could not change what he did and there is no way I would be able to trust him again.

Heck, even now it doesn’t seem like he has any sort of remorse for the affair or for lying to me for almost a year while he was sleeping with a teenager.  I think it hit me today when I finally text him asking him when he was going to be sending some of my things up.  I was very very polite considering it been a month and I haven’t heard a word from him.

“When are you going to start sending those boxes up?  I dont expect it all right away but please start soon.”

What I got back?

“Me next day off.”

That’s it.  After a month.  As if me even asking is being pushy.  Clearly, he is never going to apologize for any of this or the fact that he turned my life up and down.  There is no remorse or even care that I’m not there anymore after nine years.  I’m sure that other people have felt this way but it’s a strange and weird feeling to know just how little you mattered and still wish that they would feel…something, even if you don’t want them back.

That being said that one line today, making me feel like I was a naggy ex-wife after a month of not talking; of treating me like that for the past year; of the total and complete neglect of everything down to our marriage, drove me over the edge.

It’s oddly comforting that the Google Search bar seems to know that I need to know I’m not the only one going through this.

The second I put in “Selling my…” Both “Wedding ring”, “Engagement ring” and “Wedding dress” pop up like magic.

Emma Johnson on Single Wealthy Mom is a lifesaver and I quickly contacted Worthy.  So far my experience with them has been great and even though it’s a Saturday, they sent over FedEx to pick them up with a shipping label and I  got a phone call explaining the process just a few minutes later.

My next step is to find a place to sell my wedding dress but so far most of the sites I’ve looked at require you to pay them first.  So we will see about that.

I’m also going to send the gold charm W got me with the infinity symbol on it to Worthy.

My point is this.  These are just physical things.  I have been reading a lot and some people make them into other pieces of jewelry or keep them for their child or things of that nature.  But there is zero point in keeping something physical around if every time you look at it or think about it you cringe.  A lot of people will tell you that it was a part of your life so why get rid of it?  But really?  We all know that’s not the way we all feel.  If we were all really that positive then there wouldn’t be so many websites to get rid of them or articles on how divorce is one of the most stressful situations one might go through in your entire life.

Making Room for New

I am not a believer in things but I am a believer that if you give something power, then it does have it.

What is the point in having this thing hang around if they just give you negative feelings?  Get that shit off your chest and if you can make a few bucks off it, use it for something for yourself.  I’m going to pool my money from these things and use it on a tattoo celebrating rebirth.  But put it towards a girls/ boys night out.  If that rock is big enough, put it towards a trip.  Do something for yourself!  Don’t be weighed down by old things that don’t hold meaning, or in my case just make me sick because they are all lies.

 

 

 

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There is a time in our lives when we figure out that we are adults. When that time is...we sometimes don't know. Even at 32. I'm just a young woman trying to restart and learn how to live as an adult after years of just making ends meet. Coming out of a divorce was something horrid for my plans, but opening up to my authentic self and finding joy in the things I love has been a huge step forward. Becoming an adult isn't about the age you are at, but being comfortable in what you do, what you love and who you are. Marathoner Certified Nutrition Coach (Pn1) Writer Cook Pocket Philosopher

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